Why do you keep messing up?

You have a goal. Maybe you want to lose fat, fix your gut health, or get more sleep. You know how important it is. You know how good you'll feel when you follow through, yet you don't. You eat four cookies because they just taste so good. You decide to keep eating dairy even though you know it messes with your stomach because you can't imagine living without it. You want to get to bed early, but end up scrolling on your phone in bed for two extra hours.

Are you choosing cheap thrills over lasting pleasures?

The most annoying part is that the temporary pleasure you get from "giving in" to these destructive habits hardly lasts, while the disappointment you feel after the fact for making the wrong choice feels eternal.

So why do you keep doing it?

In The Biology of Desire by Marc Lewis, I learned about "delay discounting". This is the tendency for humans to value immediate rewards over long-term benefits. The reward of the dopamine hit from the good-tasting cookie now feels much more valuable than the weight loss months down the line. The comfort of continuing to eat dairy now feels much less impactful than it will in a couple of hours when your stomach is in pain. The thrill of scrolling on your phone now is much more exciting than waking up with energy tomorrow.

Delayed punishments seem much less severe than immediate ones. In the book, Lewis writes: "The brain evolved to pursue goals by focusing attention and motivation on sources of pleasure or relief, especially those right in front of our noses." So, this is a very human tendency. What do we do now?

Suppressing impulses doesn't work. Once you lose self-control, the immediate reward becomes even more enticing. What you need to teach yourself to do is to accept the urges. I like to ask myself if I would rather feel the temporary discomfort of the urge now or feel a more extreme discomfort that will last significantly longer if I give in to an unhealthy choice. You need to shift your perspective. Our thoughts drive our emotions. Try thinking thoughts that align with your values and identity. Find ways to connect the now ("Oh! Yummy cookies!") to the later ("It will be so amazing to feel great in my body and regain my health. I don't think it's in my best interest to eat all of these right now"). When you begin to do this, the way you think about these cheap pleasures in the moment will start to change.

This is something that takes time; I'm still working on it! It's all about practice. The more you practice, the more you reinforce these pathways in your brain, and the stronger they will get. Before you know it, you'll be making the best choices for yourself and reaching your goals with ease!

One of the most powerful ways to utilize this trick is to work with a coach who will hold you accountable. Knowledge is power, but only with consistent action. I can make sure you stick to it for good. Schedule your free consultation here.