I Teach Wellness, but I Think the Worst

Are you someone who looks for what could go wrong, what you did wrong, and what's probably going to fall apart? Do you feel like you're constantly bracing for something bad to happen - even when things are fine?

That's me, and it's embarrassing. If there's a negative way to interpret something, my brain will find it. Trainers and coaches are supposed to be positive, upbeat, and motivating. I try my best - but it's not how I'm wired. And I really struggle with it.

You often hear about the "power of positive thinking." Something horrible happened? Just be positive! An awful event took place? Look on the bright side! Feeling down? Get over yourself, it's going to be fine! So reassuring, right? Not to me. I typically end up wanting to punch the wall.

However, I recently came across this: "It's not about the power of positive thinking, but rather non-negative thinking." Instead of trying to flip the script, can you just come to neutral? You don't have to convince yourself that things are amazing. You just have to stop convincing yourself that things are terrible.

Turns out there's a pattern to how negative thinkers like me process things. When something bad happens, we make it permanent ("this always happens"), universal ("everything is falling apart"), and personal ("it's my fault"). Optimists aren't just cheerful people - they explain setbacks differently. They see bad things as temporary, specific, and not always about them. What a concept!

So here's what I'm working on (it's brand new to me, so cut me some slack):

1. Permanence: Seeing bad events as temporary and good ones as permanent - not flukes.

2. Pervasiveness: Seeing things as happening for specific reasons, not universal ones. If one thread of your life snaps, the whole fabric doesn't have to unravel.

3. Personalization: Seeing bad things as having external causes and good things as having internal ones.

4. Rumination: Deciding not to overanalyze my bad moods. Sitting with negative thoughts and replaying them just deepens the groove.

5. Disputing: Challenging my beliefs by focusing on what's changeable, specific, and not personal.

   
   

And if you want to try this with me, start noticing your ABCs:

1. Adversity: The facts of what happened.

2. Beliefs: What you told yourself about it.

3. Consequences: How those beliefs made you feel and act.

   
   

Resilience is a learned trait. I've spent years going to the gym, slowly building up my muscles and endurance. It's time I trained my brain the same way.