The Power of "Yet"

One of the biggest reasons we never become the "ideal" versions of ourselves has less to do with our circumstances and more to do with our identity.

I mean, who actually takes time to ponder their identity? I certainly don't do it much. I bet you don't either. So we don't even realize how cemented we've become in who we are. And since we're the only ones living in our heads, we don't even realize how deep those grooves in our brains have become.

So, what's my point?

The identity that you've "always had" can no longer be an excuse for not becoming the person you want to be.

"This is just the way things are." Really? Says who?

"This is how things are done." Really? Why?

"This is just how I am." Really? That's it?

"This is just how my life has to be." Really? That's all?

I'm assuming if you're reading this, you know how to drive a car. Before you learned how to drive, you didn't say: "Well, I've never driven a car, so I can't. The end." NO! You learned, you practiced, and then you started doing it so much that it became second nature, and now you don't think twice about it.

So why do we treat other things so differently?

You've never exercised consistently, or had the body or the health that you've wanted, or had the career that you've wanted, or the life experiences that you've wanted, or the consistency that you've wanted, or the sleep that you've wanted, so you just decided you can't?

So, so false. No matter your age. You can. That's not to say it won't be difficult at first, but just like driving, you do it enough times, and eventually it becomes second nature and a part of who you are.

This has happened to me with exercise. For years, I was way too intimidated to do "real weightlifting." I wasn't a weightlifter or an athlete, and I was intimidated by all of the men in the gym. And then one day, I just started. And there have been so many bumps in the road. But now? Weightlifting is the highlight of my day. I don't think twice about going to the gym, even when I don't want to, because it's part of who I am. I don't get intimidated by other people who are stronger or fitter than me, because it's not about that.

There are areas of my life where I still feel like a brand-new driver. I'm anxious and controlling as hell. I'm not as considerate of others as I could be. I'm impatient. So I'm learning, and one day things will be different. The point is that I refuse to place limits on the person I can become based on my past identity and who I am now. And you shouldn't either.

So start by asking yourself: Where are you holding onto your identity too tightly? What areas of your life are you striving to change, but you haven't been willing (yet) to be a "brand-new driver" on the way to your ideal self?