Why Boring is Better, Part 2

A couple of months ago, I wrote a post confessing to being the most boring 20-something you'll ever meet. I shared what boredom means for me and why boredom might be the theme that's missing in your life.

So today, I'm expanding on that by sharing what most people get wrong about living a boring life and why it isn't more popular. Maybe you completely resonated with what I had to say, or maybe you know someone who could benefit from a little more grounding. Either way, I hope this post gives you some insights you've never heard before.

Let's say we have two people enjoying their Saturday. Person X is going to watch a few hours of their favorite TV show, maybe go shopping, meet friends for dinner and drinks, and end up staying out pretty late. When they come home, they might think they should go to sleep, but they'll probably end up lying in bed scrolling on their phone until they drift off. Person X has a hedonic orientation.

Person Y might spend their day doing some meal prep, reading a nonfiction book, or working on learning a new skill. They might get invited to go out for dinner but choose to spend the night in with a close friend, significant other, or their kids, and then try to go to bed early. Person Y has a eudaimonic orientation.

"Boring" people are usually Person Y. For people with strong eudaimonic orientations, new challenges, building meaning, and striving toward purpose are their ideas of fun. Sometimes, people with this orientation can feel pretty down on themselves, lame, or pathetic for not being "fun" or "interesting." But they are, just in their own way.

Now, please don't misunderstand me. It's not black and white, and neither type is better than the other. The issue arises when we lean too heavily into one and not enough of the other. And in today's instant gratification society, most people lean into Person X to their own detriment. Thus, becoming boring can be better.

The real tension is that most people default to hedonic happiness (the next vacation, the next treat, the next dopamine hit) and wonder why they still feel empty, when what they're actually missing is eudaimonic happiness. But you also can't live purely on meaning and challenge, or you'll burn out. You need both.

So where do they overlap? Think cooking a meal for people you love. Traveling somewhere where you can relax and also gain perspective. A tough workout that makes you proud and energized after. Game nights with close friends. A long hike with a great view. A passion project that's also fun. Date nights with real conversation. Reading a book that's enjoyable AND changes how you think. Dancing. Live music. Playing with your dog (or someone else's) at the park.

Embrace mostly the boring; find the stuff that feels good AND means something. That's where the real happiness lives.