Why I'm leaving the fitness industry (for now)

For context: The topic I'm discussing in this post isn't the sole reason for my departure. Numerous logistical issues in this career path have rendered it unsustainable for me to continue. While those were significant factors, today I want to be more open about another aspect that influenced my decision.

This is a post I’ve wanted to write for months, but I’ve been terrified to. And here’s why.

I’ve always been passionate about health and fitness—nearly to a fault.

Long before I had my first client, I earned my personal training and nutrition coaching certifications at the peak of my battle with anorexia.

While I’ve since grown to appreciate health and fitness for the right reasons, my initial drive to get into this field was born out of a deeply unhealthy obsession with food, body image, and perfectionism.

Even though that chapter of anorexia is well behind me, the fixation has lingered. Fitness and health became not just interests, but my identity. I eat, sleep, and breathe them. That intensity has helped me stay informed and pour myself into helping my clients, which I love. But for me personally, it has become all-consuming.

Since graduating from college in May 2024, I’ve battled a resurgence of depression and anxiety that has deeply impacted my quality of life. I've clung tightly to the identity of “the health and fitness girl,” even as my own health has suffered behind the scenes. I never want to disappoint anyone, especially my clients, whom I genuinely look forward to seeing every day.

But here’s the truth: I need to live my life for me. I can’t keep tying my worth to how healthy, fit, or “on top of it” I appear. I can’t keep sacrificing my mental health just to maintain an image.

This doesn’t mean I’ll never be a trainer or coach again. I still love creating programs, writing posts, and sharing what I know. I’ll continue doing that on my own terms, and in ways that feel fun and rooted in service, not as a measure of who I am.

One day, I may return to this work full-time. But for now, I need to make space for healing and explore other paths that support all of me, not just the version that looks good on paper.

If one of my clients came to me with these same struggles, I’d remind them that health isn’t just physical; it’s mental, emotional, and spiritual too. Now, it’s time I take that advice for myself and give myself permission to get the help I need.

This might come as a surprise to many of you, especially because I’ve always shown up with a smile. I want to be a source of positivity in my clients’ lives. But outside of work, I’ve spent too many nights isolated, overwhelmed, and questioning everything.

I know this might feel like oversharing, but I also believe vulnerability is a strength. And if even one person reading this is secretly struggling too, please know you’re not alone. It’s terrifying to step away from an identity you’ve built your entire world around. But sometimes, the strongest thing you can do is start again.

Let this be your permission slip to check in with yourself. To ask what’s really serving you, and what’s slowly hurting you, even if it once felt like your purpose.

I don’t know exactly where I’m headed next. But I do know this: It’s time for something different.

Thank you for everything.